Most people think of poison when they hear the word toxic. What about people and relationships? Can we become toxic by whom we associate? Can humans poison other humans with their thoughts, words, actions and energy? Can toxic behavior appear as love to some others? How did the toxicity enter the individual? What is the remedy for toxicity?
There is an expression that says … Birds of a feather flock together. This could have a variety of meanings. Do the people flock together because of their essence, thoughts, words, actions or energy? Can people become something different by the company they keep? It has been said bad company corrupts good character and the need for being equally yoked. Does that mean humans can become like those with whom they associate? It does appear that is the case.
If we choose to hang out with negative people, antisocial, violent, criminals, demeaning, insecure, controlling people, there is a good chance we may become what we loath. There is also a chance if we don’t become the people we associate with, we will become physically ill and/or mentally ill, poisoned by what we are not accustomed.
If you are in a relationship with someone and they are causing you to become physically ill and/or mentally ill, and you think it’s love, you were poisoned before the relationship. If you left a relationship because of the negativity, yet remain friends and co-business operators with the negativity, you were poisoned before the relationship. If you are in a relationship with a violent person and are physically abused, and you think it’s love, you were poisoned before the relationship.
Where do we as individuals receive our first doses of poison? Most times it is from those who are closest to us physically and emotionally …. family. During the early years we are learning survival skills. We are learning to survive hunger, illness, and harmful events. We are also learning about love, security, and safety.
We have people role modelling who, what, where, when, why, and how to handle specific events that humans experience. Love is one of them. Similar to computers and data …. garbage in equals garbage out. If a person has been poisoned in love, that’s all they know and the thought of poison as love will continue….. it feels like home.
What is the antidote to poisoned love? Self-reflection is a starting point. Reflecting on childhood and how love and support were served. Was there secure attachment? How was love demonstrated? Did love hurt or did it bring joy and happiness? Did people you loved leave you feeling abandoned even if they were still in your life? Do you feel the need to control the outside world because your inner world feels out of control? Do you push potential mates away that are good for you because there is no pain associated with the relationship?
When toxic feels like home, healing is important. Coming face to face with the past and setting things on a healthy path is necessary. Recognizing what should be viewed as good and what should be viewed as bad. Conceive what a healthy loving relationship looks and feels like. Believe you can successfully belong to a healthy relationship. Take action to ensure there are only healthy behaviors in a relationship. The more often positive healthy behaviors are practiced, the stronger the antidote will become.